The Greenhouse

came home today to discuss drugs and the terrors of alcoholism with my parents. i'm going to build a bee hive in the garden tomorrow thanks to a book clemmie got me for christmas about self sufficiency. will be totally brilliant. i've stopped myself from reading fiction after getting way too involved with anna karenina. am trying to justify hating it when secretly i find it bore-ing into my soul. which is the pattern of my life. it is sending me coo coo with it's presumtions and its floating. frustrating. i'll be back tomorrow no doubt as i fail to make the bee hive and sink back into the unanimous gratification i recieve from other people's words.

ten commandments at my door

dog has left my house without me and i feel caged indoors alone, such a rare thing with so many people living in little 32. but whyyy? have been feeling remarkably tipsy all day today as i spent last night in alcohol excess celebrating an old school friend's 23rd birthday in dartford. bumped into my old english teacher swaggering out of an offlicense with two bottles of wine in her hand which was nice but potentially depressing(??)- obvs big lols and dancing to be had with the go-go dancing shot girls in the bull and vic but now i feel like isolation summit calls me home.